Who is DRIVING THE BUS?
When parents over-function, athletes do 1 of 2 things:
2) shut down
Under-functioners love over-functioners. All they need to do is sit in the back of the bus while the bus driver takes care of everything.
When athletes shut down, parents get shut out. The athlete isn't even on the bus.
Over-functioners lead from the front. ALWAYS. FOR EVERYTHING.
What would happen if parents practiced leading from the side, and heaven forbid, from the back?
Your athlete is more capable than you think. But they will NEVER step into their Greatest Self when they sit at the back of the bus. And it's worse when they refuse to get on the bus.
How about letting them drive once in a while? And I know you're worried because they don't even have their learners license:)
They want to step up. You need to step back to create that space.