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Self-Approval is MOST Important

Who has FOPO?

We ALL have FOPO; Fear of People's Opinions.

In fact, I got a text message the other day from a professional coach. "Shawnee tonight is our home opener and I have been out of sorts and anxious all day."

The coach was worried about the outcome, uncertain as to whether their team would win or lose.

But here's the thing; the outcome itself doesn't create fear. The fear comes from what we think others will think about the outcome.

You might want to read that last line again.

When we win, there's no FOPO because we know we will be approved of, even glorified. Social media will love us.

When we lose, make mistakes, or mess up, FOPO hits us like a tornado. What will they think? What will they say? What will social media say?

The fear of disapproval, the fear of being judged, makes us nervous and anxious. Worst of all, we often believe what's being said about us.

I gave that coach this advice: "The most important approval is self-approval. The only opinions that truly matter are those of your inner circle, the people who would go to war with you, that have your back. The rest is just noise. You get to decide if you want to listen to the noise."

There's a saying, "Dance like no one is watching". I told that coach to get out there and coach like no one is watching.

You know what I tell athletes? Compete like no one is watching. How would you play, what would you do, how would you show up, if you weren't afraid of the noise?

Simple but not easy.


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